Tall women dating shorter men? Tall men dating childsized women?
What are thoughts on either of these situations? I'm a tall woman and have dated men taller and men shorter than. I loved being able to wear high heels and have my man be taller still. I haven't come across a lot of available taller men recently and a girl wants to get out soooo... Yes, I know ultimately it is the kindness and respect from your lover that matters.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sheena on
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I've always been interested in shorter guys because here, there is nothing but short guys!!!! I'm also a dancer and every single guy I get paired with is a good 5 inches shorter than me. Then I met my last and he was 6'4". It was so nice not to feel like a freaking monster (or an easy target as my friends say-5 girls, 4 are 5'6" or shorter.) So yes, ideally a taller man would be nice but you ccan't help who you fall for.
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Permalink Reply by Wm Daniel Matthias on
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My Ex wife is 5'1 and since I returned to the dating world I have chosen to date woman at least 6' tall. Its great to be with a tall woman as you can walk around chatting with each other eye to eye and not the top of there head. The first tall date I had was walking around Central Park, it felt so right as we talked to each other and its done wonders for my posture.
On most first dates my date has worn flats even though I have said I have no problem with high heels and if it goes to a second date then out comes the 3 or 4 inch heels which is pretty cool in my book.
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Permalink Reply by Philippe on
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Now I'm about 5'11.. Average height for a guy I guess. I've dated a girl who was 6ft and another who was 6ft6, and I didn't find it uncomfortable or embarassing in public at all! As a matter of fact I find myself to be more attracted to tall girls in general. Height is definitely not a determining factor for me but if we're talking purely physical attraction the tall girl has one up on the short one for me.
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Permalink Reply by William Turner on
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Being 6'8" the tallest woman in the room always catches my eye. I am also happily married to a 5'5" woman although there are times I really wish she were at least 5 inches or so taller, thankfully she likes tall heels. I looked for tall women to date when I was single, but either they all had an attitude or it just didn't click. I actually had one 5'11"-6'0" girl who looked at me and said "I guess you think you got a shot just because you're tall too?", kinda turned me off the whole height thing to be honest.
Fortunately my wife and I have an open marriage so I have been able to enjoy some of the physical perks of being with a tall woman.
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Permalink Reply by Marco Valerio on
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Hi everyone,
I would like to make you aware of certain things. Biologically we are programmed to look for the person that complements us genetically, giving us the best chance to procreate healthy and competitive children. Wheater we like it or not this is the state of play, Darwin already knew this. This is a largely unconscious process that manifests itself with strong preferences towards people. We might love tall people, short people, muscle men or women, etc. Then, of course, we can ignore that and fall in love with the personality of somebody and be perfectly happy: complementing each other is a psycho-physical process. However, those insticts are very strong and are always there. It seems, for instance, that many short men are attracted like magnets by tall women and many tall men by short women. Am I right? It is almost if unconsciously we feel an attraction for what we are lacking of and that seems to happen from a very early age, meaning that we instinctively know what will give us the best chance of survival. I think this is fascinating as it is life at its purest form. Once we understande this, many things seem to make sense and we look at people in a different and more loving way. We all are different and we all feel attraction for different kind of beauties. Certain beauties are almost universal, which means nearly everyone like them (i.e. top models) because genetically we instinctively feel they would make us better; however we all seem to feel strong attraction for people that are not necessarily in the "rule book of beauty". Unfortunately, fashion and social standards sometimes force us to like certain kind of people rather than others. It is a shame and we should be strong and trust our instict, it never fails...
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Permalink Reply by Jheri Olsen on
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My understanding of sexual attraction is that it is very complex. There may be some things that are wired, but many things that aren't and there are several stages. The biochemistry of early infatuation is very different from what comes later for example.
People certainly have preferences, but these preferences can dramatically reduce the pool of potential partners. I think a lot of tall women and men recognize that.
I have run into short guys who are strongly attracted to my height - in fact that is all they seem to be attracted to and they have been very bad dates. I'm much more interested in the people who might consider my height novel initially, but quickly get over it. There aren't that many guys I like because of other interests of mine and using height as a criteria would be silly for me.
It doesn't bother me if I see a really tall guy with a short woman (or guy for that matter) if there are strong reasons for them to be in love. I'm picky enough in my other interests that it is likely the tall guy and I are probably not matches anyway.
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Without getting into specifics a lot of it is their temperament, passions, humor and approach to life. These are deeper things to me than the physical person. What I tend to like is fairly rare and my point is that if I only was looking for guys who are taller than me, the chances of me finding a guy with the qualities I'm really after are very small. I certainly don't exclude tall men, it is just that height isn't a major requirement for me - as long as someone isn't more than a head shorter or taller, I'm ok with it.
There are physical attributes and how a guy keeps himself up that are important to me
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I became interested in height and height preference as a sexual dimorphism and noticed that most of the studies stopped at respondent heights around 2 standard deviations either way. This is no fault of the surveys as they were looking to get large and clean data samples, but I was curious about taller women as (a) I am one and (b) there was some anecdotal evidence of a change in preference.
I did a small survey a month ago. It was hardly scientific as getting data was difficult and I wasn't willing to pay people to take the survey. In inches I had female respondents who ranged from 68 to 81 inches in stature and I focused on those 70 inches and over.
Most of the studies show sexual dimorphism ratios (SDRs) for female height preference of about 1.08 for women. This SDR is defined as male height/female height. Shorter women tend to prefer larger SDRs. It is very rare for SDRs to approach 1.0 or to drop below.
I looked at the "ideal" SDR, lowest acceptable SDR and highest acceptable SDR where all other factors were considered identical. For 70 to 73 inch tall women the ideal SDR was about 1.08 and the lowest acceptable dropped to a bit below 1.0. For women 75 inches ideal was about 1.03 but shortest acceptable had fallen to about 0.93. The responses were very few in number above that, but ideal was actually a bit lower than 1.0 for very tall women and shortest acceptable had fallen to about 0.9. It was interesting that the ideal height for a guy for the range of women 70 inches and taller was about 75 inches..
There were a lot of written comments as to why someone shorter than the shortest or taller than the tallest would not be acceptable, but I really need more data to say anything definitive.
The large SDR height preference studies show a number that is consistent with the observed height difference across societies in the world ... 1.08 is close to the mean measured height difference anywhere you go. There is an interesting question where this comes from. Indications are that it is not cultural. Of course there are many other reasons for choosing a mate, but when you look at large numbers of people, height preference is very important.
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It is just a tool for looking at the data. I didn't have enough data to do anything serious, but here is the link I put on this site:... http://api.ning.com/files/AeopYwo9BuO3R1dahvwhYYq-M*CTV5sD1k9pOIOWL0NxM7nA6O-HAgeqoIeS08mF200XEEft4Rf08C4-afliVF1JXzEyu4Ok/sdrpaper.pdf (it looks better if you download it then read it in a browser)__I think it raises some interesting questions.
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There are a lot of studies that look at these things and, of course, it gets complicated. Usually age, education level, height, weight, offered resources, body build and facial symmetry initially. Then there are many things associated with personality,
Women and men, for many of these, have a wide range of interests. There are some women who like very muscular guys and other who don't for example (I don't - I like thin guys who can run as well as I can, but that is just a person preference and other categories are more important).
What is interesting about height is that it appears to be very important to both sexes. Not universally important, but still very important. It is very rare for a women, certainly one who is within two standard deviations of the norm, to have a preference for a guy who is shorter. This can be out voted by other factors, but the primary preference still appears to be for a taller guy.
The fact that the SDR for the human population is about 1.08 and it is close to that in nearly all cultures may suggest that the preference is in our genes - like the male preference for a certain range of waist to hip ratios in women.
This can make life more difficult for very short men and very tall women. although many have other features that can attract a mate, overwhelming the SDR issue. But when you look at large populations it turns out to be a very important factor.
There are those for whom height doesn't matter as much. This is what I was looking into. My suspicion was that it is so difficult for tall women to find guys who are suitably taller who *also* had other attractive characteristics, that they would modify the height requirement more easily. This is basically what I found.
I haven't seen a study non-heterosexual populations, but they would be very interesting.
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Most of the literature shows height is very important statistically - so much that it may be part of our genetic makeup. Of the 5000 to 10000 cultures (depending on how you count) only a handful show no preference and those have very low populations and very very harsh living conditions. The SDR curve peak of about 1.08 holds across and within cultures.
There are certainly many other factors, but as a whole women want taller men and men want shorter women enough that SDR fairly stable (although it is increasing a tiny bit in the US). That was why I was interested in outlier populations where expediency may be a major driver.
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Permalink Reply by Ashley Lemiszki on
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I'm 6ft 7 and my husband is 5ft 8. I hate the stares, the comments, and the people that make fun of us (yes, make fun of us) - but as much as I don't want to be judged for my long legs, my husband doesnt deserve to be judged by his short ones!
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